This is what i have to say about saturday night

Hangover Rating

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the bird from the 3:00 AM revive the barbaque trip. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the "Ais kacang" your alcoholic friends dared you to eat / drink whatever. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching your ceiling turn in to a flashback sequence. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. Theres an Iron Maiden concert in my head.....would you like some free tickets. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover, (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying
the employee who sits in the next cube. Rum breath is seeping out of
every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now....

so there it is my friends, twas a loulie death by all and repeated deaths by yours truly that summed up the barbaque based saturday.